Quotes from
Knocked Up
The original quote, with slang   What does it mean?

Jason: Hey! What's up, Daddy? What are you doing?

Ben Stone: Just smoking a joint. Drinking some beers, you know? Rockin'.

Jason: Hello! What is happening, Dad? What are you doing?

Ben Stone: Just smoking a marijuana cigarette and drinking some beers. Enjoying myself.

Debbie (to the security guard who won't let her into a club): I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line. Who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls. What, am I not skanky enough for you, you want me to hike up my fucking skirt? What the fuck is your problem? I'm not going anywhere! You're just some roided out freak with a fucking clipboard. And your stupid little fucking rope! You know what? You may have power now, but you are not God. You're a doorman, okay. You're a doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, so fuck you! You fucking fag with your fucking little faggy gloves.

Debbie (to the security guard who won't let her into a club): I'm not going go to the end of the fucking (used for emphasis) line. Why do you think you are so important? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these dirty girls who are dressed like prostitutes*. Do you think I am not sexy enough? Do you want me to pull up my skirt? What the fuck (used for emphasis) is your problem? I'm not going anywhere! You're a man with a clipboard who has taken too many steroids in order to become big and muscular. And your stupid little fucking (used for emphasis) rope that keeps people out of the club! Do you know what I think? You may have power now, but you are not God. You're a doorman. You're a doorman, so I disrespect you! You contemptible homosexual with your fucking (used for emphasis) effeminate little gloves.

Ben Stone (to answering machine): Hey, Doc Howard, Ben Stone calling. Guess what the fuck's up? Alison is going into labor and you are not fucking here. You know where you're at? You're at a fucking bar mitzvah in San Francisco, you motherfucking piece of shit, and you know what I'm gonna have to do now? I'm going have to kill you. I'm gonna pop a fucking cap in your ass. You're dead, you're Tupac, you are fucking Biggie. You piece of shit, I hope you fucking die or drop the chair and kill that fucking kid. I hope your plane crashes. Peace, fucker!

Ben Stone (to answering machine): Hey, Doctor Howard, this is Ben Stone calling you. Guess what the fuck (used for emphasis) is happening? Alison is going into labor and you are not fucking (used for emphasis) here. Do you know where you are? You're at a stupid bar mitzvah* in San Francisco, you contemptible person (literally: feces), and do you know what I'm going to have to do now? I'm going have to kill you. I'm going to shoot you with a gun. You're dead, like well-known rappers Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, both of whom were shot to death. You contemptible man (literally: feces), I hope you fucking (used for emphasis) die or drop the chair and kill the boy who is having his bar mitzvah*. I hope your plane crashes. Goodbye, hated person!

*The bar mitzvah is a Jewish ceremony in which 13-year-old boys enter the age of religious adulthood. As part of the celebration, the boy is raised up above the crowd on a chair.