Frank: I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Manor?
Sheryl: Frank...
Grandpa: Are you kidding me? It was a fucking paradise. They got pool... They got golf... Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?
Frank: You must have been very busy.
Grandpa: Ho, ho. I had second degree burns on my johnson. I kid you not.

Frank: I understand you didn't like it at Sunset Manor (retirement home)?
Sheryl: Frank...
Grandpa: Are you joking? It was a fucking (used for emphasis) paradise. They have got pool... They have got golf... Now I am forced to spend my time with my annoyingly positive son*, sleeping on a fucking (used for emphasis) sofa. I know you are a homosexual, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places and there are four women for every man. Can you imagine what that's like?
Frank: You must have been very busy.
Grandpa: Ho, ho. I had so much sex I got second degree burns on my penis. I am not joking.

*His son Richard wants to be a self-help guru and constantly tells everyone they can be a "winner."

Sheryl: She can't go. They've got some equestrian thing.
Richard: Oh, they do that horse shit every weekend.

Sheryl: She can't go. They've got some equestrian thing.
Richard: Oh, they do some activity with horses* every weekend.

*double meaning: horse shit also means nonsense.

Grandpa: Get yourself a fag mag.

Grandpa: Get yourself a pornographic magazine for homosexual men.