John: I'm sorry I called you white trash.
Jeremy: I forgive you.
John: And I'm sorry I called you hillbilly. I don't know what that means.
Jeremy: John, it's all right. Do you mind if I get married now?

John: I'm sorry I said you were a poor, uneducated white person who often behaves offensively.
Jeremy: I forgive you.
John: And I'm sorry I called you an uneducated, unsophisticated person from some remote woodland area. I don't know what that means.
Jeremy: John, it's all right. Do you mind if I get married now?

John: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.
Jeremy: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older woman made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.
John: I wasn't crying like a little girl.
Jeremy: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like, anyway?

John: Claire! All I wanted is to have a minute alone with you to explain everything. But I've never gotten that chance. So here goes. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been crashing weddings. Business was good. I met a lot of girls. It was childish and irresponsible.
Claire: And pathetic.
John: Yeah. That's probably the best word. But it also led me to you so it's impossible for me to completely regret it. I've learned something. I crashed a funeral today. It wasn't my idea, I was basically dragged along.

John: Claire! All I wanted is to have a minute alone with you to explain everything. But I've never gotten that chance. So now I'm going to try. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been attending weddings I wasn't invited to. It worked very well for me. I met a lot of girls. It was childish and irresponsible.
Claire: And pathetic.
John: Yeah. That's probably the best word. But it also led me to you so it's impossible for me to completely regret it. I've learned something. I went to a funeral today that I wasn't invited to. It wasn't my idea, my friend forced me to go.